Reflections on the government shutdown: why is health care so threatening?

 I may be putting myself out on a bit of a limb here, but the draw of the blog makes it hard to sit silent while our country heads towards disaster.

As I listen helplessly to a report on NPR  about our country being in the grips of an irrational game of chicken, I found myself being curious about the motivations of the tea party conservatives. Drawing a lesson from psychoanalyst Peter Fonagy, who identifies the ability to attribute motivations to behavior as a uniquely human characteristic, I wonder if taking a stance of curiosity rather than anger might be useful.

This led me to consider another psychoanalytic construct, namely that of transference.  The tea party hardliners refer to Obamacare as an invasion of privacy. This idea is grotesquely depicted in the commercial showing a creepy Uncle Sam invading a gynecologic exam. Before he enters, the patient,  a young woman, is being cared for by what appears to be a kind, motherly doctor.

The notion of transference describes how strong feelings from a past relationship, often with a parent, find there way in to a current relationship. This phenomenon can occur in relationships with spouses, children, co-workers, in addition to the setting where Freud originally identified it, namely in the patient-therapist relationship.

In the intimacy and privacy of the patient-doctor relationship, such as that between a young woman and her female gynecologist, these type of transference feelings naturally occur. That made me wonder if to those who made the commercial, Obamacare, as represented by Uncle Sam, in some way represents a third invading the primary caregiver-child relationship. If so, that might help explain the intransigent behavior of those who are unable to accept that Obamacare, or the Affordable Care Act, is the law, and are willing to hold the country hostage rather than face that fact.

But Obamacare is not a threat to that intimate private relationship. In fact, if it works, and health care costs do go down, and insurance companies lose some of their power, it may in fact strengthen the relationship.  With increased emphasis on prevention, the healing power of the patient-doctor relationship might be brought in to better focus than under the current system, when doctors are forced to see more and more patients in less and less time.

A perfect community moment: holding a mother so she can hold her baby

I am a devoted fan of Zumba, specifically as it is taught by my wonderful teacher, who has a dedicated following. She has been out for the past month, home with a newborn and two year old. Last week, she came with her baby to try to take the class, now being taught by a substitute, also a regular member of her class.

"I need this for my mental heath, " she confided as we walked together in the parking lot. A mother of a teenager who was also taking the class greeted us at the door.  Without hesitation, she offered to take the baby to a nearby park with her other two kids. "I'll bring him back when he needs the breast, " she said, and was off.

About 20 minutes in to the class, we heard the insistent cry of newborn hunger. His mom stopped her dancing and sat on the side nursing the baby, cheering the rest of us on through the new routines. A few minutes later, she was back in action, the other mom taking the baby again. My teacher was able to get a couple more numbers in before her baby demanded the second breast. Again she stopped, and settled in with him on the floor of the dance studio, where the two of them remained through the end of the class. We all wished them well as we filed out of the class.

It was a beautiful example of both  "the holding environment," and "primary maternal preoccupation," two ideas central to the work of D. W.Winnicott, pediatrician turned psychoanalyst.

Being home full time with a toddler and newborn is among the most difficult jobs there is. Taking care of your mental health is essential. This little scene included two important elements: physical activity that is calming, Zumba being a great example, and a community of supportive caring people.  In an ideal world, every mother would have access to such a "holding environment." When  a mother is struggling with perinatal emotional complications, such as depression or anxiety, this is particularly important. In such an environment, a mother is free to provide the "maternal preoccupation," that my teacher demonstrated with her unhesitating attention to her baby's needs.

Human infants, unlike some other species,  are completely helpless and dependent for the first 8 to 12  weeks of life.   Beyond these early weeks, babies begin to have the ability to comfort themselves, for example bring a thumb to their mouth. The need for this kind of preoccupation lessens. In fact, as they grow and develop, learning self regulation by not having their every need met becomes increasingly important. But in these first few months, being highly attuned and  attentive to a baby's needs, or "preoccupied," while it can be exhausting,  is essential for healthy development. It lays the groundwork for self-regulation and a healthy sense of self.

Thinking about this scene led me to reflect on a post written by Kara Baskin, one of my fellow Boston Globe bloggers, about Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's plans to take only a few weeks maternity leave. She writes:

I’m sure Mayer will make the situation work for her however she can, whether that means hiring an army of nannies or installing some kind of high-tech baby-cam from which she can run meetings while playing virtual peek-a-boo or, you know, trying to work flexible hours.

Baskin wonders how realistic this is considering how emotionally drained and physically exhausted a new mom can feel.  This is an important point. But at the risk of accusations of anti-feminism, I think Mayer's idea is selfish. Recently I spoke with a very experienced maternity nurse. She observed that, more than in previous generations, for today's new Mom the pregnancy is "all about them."

Well, the hard reality, and also the great joy, is that it is not all about them.  At the end of the nine months, this baby needs someone to offer the kind of primary preoccupation that I described above. It doesn't necessarily need to be the mother. It could be a father, grandparent or other relative. If it is a nanny, which in my opinion is not ideal, then it must be recognized that when that nanny leaves, it will be a significant loss for the child that will need to be processed and grieved.

Our society needs to recognize the value of those first two to three months. We need to provide a holding environment for new Moms. We need to let them know that taking time to devote to preoccupation with their newborn is among the most important things they can do. It's not that much time. But in terms of the health of future generations, it will go a long way.

An "Oh So Random" $20 Giveaway!

I am beyond thrilled to announce that my blog makeover is finally complete. It's definitely been a long road (I blame my OCD...lol).

Two weeks after my last makeover (I know, I know) I came across The Bubbly Blonde's new design and it was love at first sight. I knew I had to work with the wonderful person behind her design. Before that, I spent countless hours scouring the web for blog designers. 

Each time I found a designer I liked, they either had a mile long wait list, or the price was just way out of my price range- some costing as much as $300! YIKES!!!  Teri was perfect. Each time there was something I didn't like she was very quick to change it. She is very patient, very kind, and very affordable. She is also a teacher! How cool is that?

We must have sent 50+ emails back and forth.
I highly recommend you hop on over to her blog and check her out ;-) 

Ok. Enough of my ramblings- so in celebration of this very long road coming to an end. I'd like to throw a fun giveaway.

You don't have to blog about this giveaway, follow my blog, my pinterest boards, or my fb page (though I would love if you do...hahaha). 

All you have to do is tell me ONE random thing about yourself, your job, or your family. Anything. 

Some ideas are; what grade you teach, how many students you have, what state/ country you teach in, how long you've been teaching, what your favorite children's book or professional development book is, your favorite subject to teach, a funny story, something crazy your students have said, or something on your bucket list. 

Tell me ANYTHING. Just have fun with it!! One comment only per person. Additional comments will be deleted.

 **Please make sure to leave an email in your comment** 

& because this giveaway is 'oh so random- so are the prizes...lol! 

You get to choose your prize. 

A $20 limit anywhere- anywhere of course, that allows me to purchase a gift card for you online. 

(note: no items will be mailed)

Teacher's Pay Teachers, Teacher's Notebook, Scrappin' Doodles, KPM Doodles, DJ Inkers, Target, Walmart, Amazon, etc. 

I will announce the winner by random generator on
September 17, 2012. 

You decide. How exciting! How Random! :) 

ENJOY & Good Luck!  

 

And so she did!

New Blog on the Block & a Not So New One

Thank- you everyone for your sweet words & well wishes. The wedding was beautiful and I had a BLAST!

Before I mention this week's new blogs I wanted to let you know about an amazing blog I have been following for a while now. 

Shawna is the teacher behind this blog which reviews picture books with the busy teacher in mind. She also offers information on genre, theme, reading level, and reading strategies that work best for that book. There is also a link to Amazon included if your interested in purchasing the book. I wish I had a resource like this when was working towards my M.A. in Reading.

And now for this week's new blogs on the block...

Kristen at Glitter and Glue is a Kindergarten teacher from Florida. She has some really awesome 100th day activities she recently posted.

and 

Sophia at How Cute is this! is a Kindergarten teacher who shares all things "cute" on her blog. 

If you have a minute, stop by these awesome blogs and take a look around ~ enjoy!! 

{we did some valentine's day interactive writing today~ I hope to share some freebies with you tomorrow if its not too late}

Have a Great Day!